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[15 Aug 2004|07:33pm]
i miss you sooo much bonnie arvaline.

come home soon nerdbomber!!

2 comments| REPLY

[05 Aug 2004|12:18pm]

heeey guys

   .. wow its been a while!!


[06 Jul 2004|12:10am]

lets change it up a bit..


[05 Jul 2004|06:13pm]
so its monday. i finally have a day off. & im sittin´ inside. & have been all day. katie & monica both have work. bonnie is in maine. joe was at the beach all day & now has a game. lindsay is in west virginia. me & evan aren´t exactly talking right now. i dont know what the hell anthony´s problem is. but i dunno. maybe hes right. maybe i have chased away all my friends. i chased away katie & monica. then it was evan. now its his & bonnies turn. i mean i might as well just get rid of bonnie, joe, ryan & lindsay while im at it. i'll just start all over. so i can have a new group of friends to chase away.

on other notes. i woke up this morning. or well, this afternoon. & the first thing outta my moms mouth: "evan´s in the paper." me: "woo hoo?" so i read it. & threw it in the pile with all the other papers. my mom asked me what was wrong & i was just like, the was boring.. shes like what?.. she just wont understand. so then my dad comes home at like 3 & my mom was like "ashley´s exboyfriend was in the paper.. oh i see she already cut it out." so she told me to go get it so he could read it. & i guess i didnt say the nicest things about him & my dad kinda made me realize somethings too.. he was like "i dont get how you can be with someone that long & then when its over just say all that about him." & he thought it was kinda weird how we dated while he was gone, & then he comes back & its over. but they dont know the whole story behind that one. all they know is that we broke up. i told them it was mutual. so it got thinking. he doesnt deserve all the crap i talk about him.. & thanks to my dad & anthony, i realized for the past 3 months i have chased him away. along with everyone else. so i sent evan a text message sayin im sorry. he called back, but i didnt answer. wasnt in the mood to explain it all to him over the phone. so i wrote him another one saying that i deserved everything that happened & all that, & that if he wanted he could call me later or whatever. i think im gonna try to be nice to him if i can. but yeah thats that.

dont know what else to say. so leave some if you think you can cheer me up a bit..
3 comments| REPLY

aww, joey !! =D [02 Jul 2004|11:46pm]
joe: leadin the pack
joe: dont no wut pack but ur leadin
me: team.. uhm
me: teal
joe: o i see... ur leavin team brown
me: you dont want me in team brown.. =/
joe: i mos def want you on team brown!
me: porque?
joe: cuz ur my ashy!
me: thats not convincing enough
me: lol
joe: cuz i love you ashy!
me: i need more.. haha
joe: cuz you mean everything to me ashy!
me: your close !!
joe: f this...
joe: u can just leave if u want more



[02 Jul 2004|10:49am]

First job: workin´ at the ampitheater with katie.. aww katie we had soo much fun!! =D
First screen name: wow. that was forever & a year ago.. but i know it had to do with the cowboys!
First funeral: first & only. my g-mas in ´93 i believe.
First pet: a goldfish
First piercing: ears piecered when i was like a baby
First tattoo: none
First credit card: N/A
First kiss: at the church park back in little kid school.
First enemy: one of my best friends, jessica barbini.. we just love pickin´ fights with her
First favorite musician/band: wow i have no clue

Last car ride: Last night with joey comin´ home from ants
Last movie watched: Hmm.. I dont even know..
Last beverage drank: Pepsi at like 3 this morning..
Last food consumed: Frosted mini wheats
Last phone call: Joey last night
Last time showered: Like 10 minutes ago 
Last CD played: A mixed cd
Last website visited: this one!

Sex: Female
Birthday: July 30
Sign: Leo
Siblings: One older sister.
Hair color: blonde
Eye color: blue
Shoe size: 7
Height: 5'4
Wearing: blue eagle butt soffes & a white wifebeater
Drinking: nothing now
Thinking about: I dont wanna go to work today!! =/
Listening to: Nothing..

1 comment| REPLY

more pictures !! [01 Jul 2004|07:19pm]

me, katie & monica

bonnie & me


bonnie, lindsay & me

2 comments| REPLY

[01 Jul 2004|03:55pm]

  me & my sister


me & bonnie


more later !!

3 comments| REPLY

[29 Jun 2004|12:24pm]
lets see. woke up at like 11 cause mi madre said that some people´s were comin´ to look at the house. so i got up, got ready, showered & all that, & was like, what now. So my dad & sister left to go somewhere & i went up to bp to get some donuts !! yum lol.. then when my dad gets back, hes like "lets go to ruby tuesday" schweet! i havent been there in like, forever. so we go, eat, then go to party city to get aaron a b-day card. then come back home. my parents & sister left, & they told me i couldnt stick around the house. so im like, hmm what to do. i called up bonnie & asked if she wanted to go to the mall, so we went. got 3 shirts & a skirt from a&f.. then took bonnie home cause she didnt wanna go to aarons party with me. so i went, did bring my bathin´ suit cause i thought it was gonna rain. but i went back & got it. went swimmin´ with all the guys. aaron, james, derek, tyler, brandon. then derek & tyler left & these two guys that aaron works with got in. we played volleyball. for like 5 minutes til i broke the net. haha, twice! go me. so we got back in the pool & played 500. beast game. i got on james shoulders so i could like actually reach the ball. but brandon, bein´ the tall dude he is, still got the ball. ha. so i left ´round 7 something. joe called & wanted to go midnight bowlin´. got home & showered. ended up ryan couldnt go, so we just chilled at lindsays, went to ryans house to his back window, but he wasnt in there. then to food lion to walk around. linds got chips & me Saturday!! joey played football. i took them all home & went to bed round 2.

mi hermanas b-day. my aunt came over early & gave her her present, so we all gave her ours. & then they all left. so i got ready cause i was plannin´ on goin´ to a soccer game with evan at 10. yeah he didnt wake up in time. so we went to the 1 o´clock game. i saw jimmie play! lol. aw & he scored, good job neutron! lol. so i wanted to talk to evan, bout everything goin´ on. but he didnt. so we just sat there & i tried like gettin´ his mind off the game, but again, didnt work. so i left, linds wanted to go to the beach, but i dont really like the beach. when you live at the beach for what, almost 17 years. you get pretty tired of it. lol. then joey wanted to do something, so i was at home gettin´ ready to go do something with him, when everyone comes back from NC & decides to go to oLiVe GaRDeN for jess´ bday. yum again.. so we go & get back. joey was goin to the styx concert, so i asked evan if he wanted to go to the movies with me & my sister & aaron. but he "already had plans". so i was bored as crap. i go get linds & head over to evans. i was gonna be there for like 5 minutes, cause i just wanted to see him. so while we were there, just talkin´ ashley shows up. she just stops at the end of the driveway & evan goes to talk to her. linds´ is like, wtf evan we were here first, i think she can wait. but evan & linds arent exactly "friends" so he blew us off & went to talk to her. clay, evans little brother came up & talked to us. bout all this that happen. then evans mom went out to talk to ashley & evan. uhh i hated that, cause, that used to be me. then she walked back in & ashley started drivin off. so i thought. but she was just parking her car. then evans mom came back out in the car & evan came over & was like "so are ya´ll leavin´ or what." im like, wtf ?! so i left. the whole time i was walkin away linds is like, dont get mad ash just dont get mad. but i freakin´ slammed the door & just sped off. fuck that. so when we were at evans, linds called wes & told him to come over. he was gonna, but ashley talked to him & told him not to. so we went over there. he knows what im goin through. then ryan calls & i got pick him up. freakin hittin´ a raccoon on that way. i had to swirve to get outta the way & my *check engine soon* or whatever light came back on. so we went back to wes´ house & chilled there for a while. then, my phone rings. im thinkin´ its my parents. but it says evan <3<3<3, eh yeah. so i put it on speakerphone & it was ashley. first thing outta her mouth "hi ashley, uh why did you egg my car?" im like, egg your car what the fuck are you talkin´ about?" we got back & forth, & finally im like will you shut the fuck up so i can say something. i told her i didnt egg her car & she wanted to talk to wes. she got pissed at him cause i was over there. she was like "its over wes, its all over." wes just left my phone in the middle of the street. i went to get it & i was like "ashley how the hell is it right for you to sit there & be with evan, but he cant hang out wit his friends." then ryan took the phone, then it made it back to wes, then back to me, wes again & again with ryan. the phone mad it back to wes & i planned on goin over to evans to talk to ashley. but wes like ran somewhere, so i parked the car & talked to all 3 of them again, then went to the car to talk to ashley. now if you dont know me, which a lotta you dont REALLY know me. i hate holdin´ grudges with people & bein mad at people. so i was like "ash i dont want it to be like this. i hate when we fight like this, over a freakin guy. its not worth it.." then its like silent & evan gets on the phone & is like "ashley just stay away from me. just dont talk to me, dont do anything to me. at all." then he kept repeating himself. i got off the phone & all of us went over there. evans mom was gettin pissed but oh well. so i pulled ashley outta the house, but she thought i was tellin´ her to talk to wes. so i talked to evan.. hes like, i still want you in my life. im like fuck that. no he doesnt. he wouldnt want me in his life if he was doin´ this shit to me. i kept walkin´ away & he pulled me back. we talked for like 15 minutes. ashley walked back to the house & evans mom came out. evan walked away, again.. & i was like, evan dont walk away from me you've already done it enough.. evan mom came over & was like "do i have to tell this to the group or can ashley relay it back to everyone? i dont want anyone i dont approve of anywhere near my house, or the cops will be called. i have the head of the norfolk police right across the street, blah blah blah blah.." whatever. i walked away, i dont need to listen to that crap cause i didnt do anything. i got in the car with linds & ryan & wes walked somewhere. i just let it all out.. i started ballin´ linds is comforting me sayin´ i dont need him, hes not worth it. so i called evan over & told him bye. im done with him. i went to pick up wes, but he was walkin home, went to get ryan but he was watchin´ evan & ashley for wes. then i went to get linds but i had no clue where she went. found her, then picked up ryan & then finally picked up wes all the way on salem road. took them all home, got home & talked to them all online. & i talked to joe. he can always make me feel better. ashley got on & tried to make things better. im not ready to make things better with her. she doesnt realize how much shes hurt me. me & wes. i went to bed late, not good since i had to work at 9 in the AM

so thats where yesterday comes in. i got up at 9. worked til 4. no need for those details cause it was boring as crap. so i got home, ate dinner, showered & all that. & joe, linds & ryan wanted to go bowling again. so i asked if i could go & spend the night at linds. first they said yeah, but then asked how i was payin´ for it. so they got all freakin pissed & said i couldnt go. so i called linds, she said ryan would pay for me. so i asked my parents again & they let me go. we left to go watch joeys game at 6. they tied 3-3. "joey your so sexy" haha. ryan you didnt yell it! then we went back to joes house so he could shower. & left to go bowling. me & linds only bowled one game. joey & ryan bowled like 3. so we went to play games. we left at like 10 i think, then went back to linds house cause we had nothing else to do. linds & ryan played this freakin squirl game on the computer & me & joe just watched them play on the bed. then.. uh yeah. haha we left at like 1130. i didnt want him to go! =/ but they had to.. took them home, came back to linds & just talked til 1 or so. went to bed..

left linds at like 11. i got home, ate some breakfast & showered. got my summer league clothes on. & i've be sittin here updating this freakin journal since 12:24. its 1:04 now. wtf! i need to get off. but, come watch my game today if you want! 6:00 at the turf fields, field 2 i believe!! call if you want!
2 comments| REPLY

you wanna know how i feel.. here it is ! [25 Jun 2004|12:55am]
so this is what it feels like. to stay up all night cause your too scared to see what kind of nightmares you'll have this time. to cry over the littlest things that remind you of how times "used to be". to always want to try, even when you know it wont help. you'd call him 50 million times, just to hear his voice & hope he'd finally say "i love you" again. yeah this is what a broken heart feels like..

[23 Jun 2004|10:46am]


Who can still make you smile: Anthony


I want things back to how they were to Anty !!

1 comment| REPLY

[21 Jun 2004|10:29pm]

t a n k t o p s
f l i p
f l o p s
l a t e
n i g h t s
n o
f i g h t s
s u n
t a n s
e n d l e s s
p l a n s
w a r m
s a n d
h o l d i n g
h a n d s
w i t h
f r i e n d s
n e v e r
e n d
this is what we've been waiting for !!

ive begun to realize, this is just what we hope summer will be. but really, summer is just like spring, winter & fall. no matter how warm it is outside, or whether we are in school or not, or can sleep in or wake up early. there is still drama. it never ends. so really, whats soo good about summer?

1 comment| REPLY

[21 Jun 2004|06:32pm]
yeah so its summer. i thought it was goin good, hung out with good friends by the pool the first couple of days. then some stuff happened, not gonna get specfic about it. but yeah no one seemed to have a problem with it. at the time. so, the stuff that happened, continued to happen. again no problem. til all of a sudden. yeah we got something to say about it. how im vulnerable & im bein used... wtf! this was fine like 3 days ago. now im bein used. great. so yeah everyone is basicly mad at me or has some problem with me at the moment. & for the first time. i actually dont care. yeah this summer is gonna be great. work & field hockey like all day!! nothing better...

thanks guys
1 comment| REPLY

[19 Jun 2004|07:54pm]

see all those people on the ground
wasting time
trying to hold it all inside
but just for tonight
top of the world
sitting here wishing
the things i've become
something is missing
maybe i..
what do i know
& now it seems that i have found
nothing at all
i wanna hear your voice outloud
slow it down, slow it down
without it all
im choking on nothing
it clear in my head
im screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
on my own..
without it all
im choking on nothing
its clear in my head
im screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

o n  m y  o w n


b0r3d [19 Jun 2004|03:06pm]
Name: Ashley
Birth date: .o7.3o.87
Birthplace: norfolk
Current Location: va beach
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: blonde
Height: 5'4
Righty or Lefty: right
Sign: leo

LAYER TWO: On The Inside

Your heritage: german & polish. haha, yeah..
Shoes you wore today: none yet
Your weakness: ehh not too sure on this one..
Your fears: a lot.
Your perfect pizza: frozen pizza, mm tombstone is the best
Goal you'd like to achieve: to be okay after high school

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Your most overused phrase on AIM: lol
Your thoughts first waking up: ah, nice to sleep in
Your best physical feature: uhm, my hair? lol
Your bedtime: whenever..
Your most missed memory: too many!!


Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds
Single or group dates: hmm
Adidas or Nike: i like them both, but probably nike more
Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: chikfila !! lol
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: umm.. coffee..


Smoke: nope
Cuss: yeah
Sing: yeah..
Take a shower everyday: yes
Have a crush(es): sure
Think you've been in love: i am
Like(d) high school: there has been some good and bad to it
Want to get married: eventually
Believe in yourself: sometimes
Get motion sickness: no..
Think you're attractive: ??
Think you're a health freak?: hell no
Get along with your parents?: there are times
Like thunderstorms: sure
Play an instrument: not anymore.. used to play the piano

LAYER SIX: In the past few months have you...

Drank alcohol: yeah
Smoked: nope
Done a drug: no
Made Out: yeah
Gone on a date: nope
Gone to the mall?: yeah
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: uh huh
Eaten sushi: nope
Been on stage: nope
Been dumped: i guess you could say that
Gone skating: no
Gone skinny dipping: no
Dyed your hair: no never!! lol
Stolen anything: haha..
Lied: si


Played a game that required removal of clothing: yeah like, wednesday
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: not EXTREMELY!
Been called a tease: not that i know of
Gotten beaten up: no
Shoplifted: yeah

LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older

Age you hope to be married: umm.. by 25
Numbers and Names of Children: i wanna name my girl a guys name, like wesley or taylor. or something like that.
Describe your dream wedding: on a beach?
How do you want to die: i dont wanna die. lol
What do you want to be when you grow up: i dont care, just as long as im happy
What country would you most like to visit: AUSTRALIA !!
what country would you NOT want to visit: iraq lol

LAYER NINE: In a girl/guy?

Best eye color? i dont matter
Best hair color?: again.. ^
Short or long hair: short
Height: taller than me
Best first date location: wherever

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...

Number of people I could trust with my life: probably 2.. wanna guess?
Number of CDs that I own: my sister takes them all..
Number of piercings: 2
Number of tattoos: none
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: hmm, bunch for fh..
Number of scars on my body: too many to count
Number of things in my past that I regret: i dont regret.. just mistakes i learn from

[19 Jun 2004|12:57pm]
her: i do love you.
him: i love you too.
him: but i guess thats not enough.
3 comments| REPLY

the bold, is me.. [18 Jun 2004|10:33am]
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover

[18 Jun 2004|09:20am]
first day of summer

& im up at 9:00 !! haha

oh well.. so today the plan is to go anthonys, chill by the pool like all day.. work on improving the tan. or ACK-least evenin it out. & thats probably the plan for tonight too.. not sure. but yeah its summer.. no school. just time to chill with friends, work, field hockey & yeah thats probably it.. haha!!

i love jenna lynn!! [16 Jun 2004|06:49am]

benjisRI0Tgirl16: when i go to disney
benjisRI0Tgirl16: im gunna buy u a new boyfriend
fiEelDhoCkeYplYr: aww
fiEelDhoCkeYplYr: lol
benjisRI0Tgirl16: hope u like mickey mouse


haha jenn i love you!! but, i dont think i want that right now.. but i still love you!! <3

1 comment| REPLY

i think its time for an update [13 Jun 2004|11:18pm]
this has been a rollercoaster of hell..

everything is fine & great, then shit happens at a party & its down.
we talk about it & i though everything was back up again
but the one littlest talk about it & again, back down

now the tables have turned.
i knew it was goin to happen.
dont worry, i prepared myself for it.
you thought you could hurt me.
but trust me.
in the end

your only hurting yourself!
1 comment| REPLY

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